First blog

I'm sure I somewhat resemble a beached whale sometimes when I'm getting my brains screwed out. My big white belly flopping around, weird animal noises coming out of my throat... My newest dude is a weirdo who has a manitee fetish though. I'm sure he likes whales too.

My husband doesn't like manatees... or whales, or anything but a granite-chisled broad. Ugh. He stopped being interested in me when I started gaining weight. You know what though? Once you turn thirty, you START GAINING WEIGHT! I mean... I'm still a goddess. A motherfuckin' goddess. Just like Venus, soft and valuptuous. I'm not obese or anything. And for as much as I've been through with Dr. Douchebag, I still have a fairly reasonable amount of self esteem. I have a pretty face mostly. That's what's important anyway.

What makes me really mad about him not wanting me anymore is like... his dick is so tiny, and I married him anyway. I looked past it because he was totally awesome (so I thought).

So yeah. We are still married. Been married for 13 years, we have a kid Stacy but she stays with my mom right now since we are going through such a rough patch. Me and my husband don't talk. We don't hang out. He is screwing someone on the side. I found out about a month ago. I didn't even have to catch him, he just told me!

The night he told me, he came home around 4 in the morning from the bar. He was all kinds of drunk smelling like vodka and cigarette smoke, and his hands. smelled. like. VAGINA! And it wasn't MINE!

He stuck his hand in my FACE and says "SMELL THAT BABY?!" I got so sick to my stomach. You know, you just know what that smells like. And he starts laughing hysterically and walked off.

So... about a week later he asked me for a divorce. I said No way, baby. We said our vows. Basically I don't want to be married to him anymore, but I feel like I have a better chance at making his life hell if I'm still married to him. Heeeeee!

So anyway, I finally stopped wollowing in self pity and went to the bar last week. I took myself on a date. I don't have many friends here anymore since Hubbywubbster and I got married. I mean i was crazy about that bitch ass.

So. went to the bar by myself. I was sitting there drinking their stale wine (that's all i can drink these days is wine) and then this really weird looking geek comes up to me and sits down. His name is Rico (yeah yeah I've heard the Rico Suave jokes, give it a break. I'm sure that's not even his real name anyway!). He's really stupid and geeky but he's good in bed. And his dick has some girth. And you know, girth is more important than length and twenty times
better than my husband's baby toe dick any day.

So anyway, this is a weird time in my life. I mean I've always been super faithful ( I HATE CHEATERS!) but now I get it. I. freaking. get it. But this is like a big change, so figured I should start a blog or diary to document.

TTFN!